Well, it’s finally happening. The season is getting a bit interesting. Obviously it’s also almost over, but you know, it’s better (really) late than never.

Remember how I said Stannis is the worst? I think now it’s pretty well established. Ramsay’s little plan was apparently to sneak into Stannis’ camp and just burn all the food (classic), so the army was left with not enough food to sustain them long enough to make it to Winterfell, or to go back to Castle Black. Quite the predicament. This made Stannis pretty much give in to Melisandre’s TERRIBLE advice on what the “Lord of Light” wants.

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He sends his right hand, Davos, away. Davos can feel that something is up but can’t defy his king. So he makes Shireen a little reindeer toy, and we all just yell at the screen “give the girl a knife!” But unfortunately, all she has is the toy when they come to take her.

The scene where Shireen is sacrificed is one of the saddest scenes in this show, and that’s saying something. Shireen is one of the few characters in Game of Thrones that is just honestly sweet, kind, and so very smart. Despite being the daughter of a (self-proclaimed) king, she faced a lot of hate and discrimination in her life because of her grayscale, and she always seemed to connect with the rejects and underdogs. Her willingness to teach both Davos and Gilly how to read was lovely, and she did it without condescending them or ever making them feel stupid.

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Anyway, she was a great character and she will be missed. I have to admit that I almost cried during this scene, and I had goosebumps as she was screaming for her useless parents. The Lord of Light can go jump in a hole as far as I’m concerned.

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In other news: the king of Dorne is awesome. I wish they did more with him this season. But for now he just made his graceful decisions, letting Jaime bring Myrcella back to King’s Landing, and even sending Price Tristane with them to make sure the peace is kept through their relationship. Doran seems like a legitimately peaceful person. How quaint.

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Arya is up to some weird stuff, but at least she has some interaction with the rest of the story, so I’m happy. While on her mission to pretend to be an oyster seller and kill that thin man, she sees Mace Tyrell (who Cersi sent on a “diplomatic mission” to the Iron Bank) and his guards, including Meryn Trant. You probably don’t remember who Trant is, so let me remind you: he’s the guy who killed Syrio Forel, Arya’s fencing instructor, and did some other bad stuff for the Lannisters. This earned him a spot on Arya’s lovely bucket list of “people I’d like to kill.”

So just like that Arya is pulled back into her previous life, before she tried being “nobody” and was on another mission, to kill everyone who hurt her family. She follows Trant into a brothel and finds out that on top of everything he’s also a pedophile. Lovely. She then goes back and lies to Jaquen about why she didn’t kill the thin man. Looks like Arya will be taking on a side gig, and I can’t wait to see her stick a sword in this guy already.

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Lastly, Mereen. Oh, dear, dear Mereen. Daenerys goes to watch the fighting pits’ finale (or whatever they call it there), and is once again uncomfortable with the whole “fighting to the death” thing. Jorah, who sold himself back to slavery in the last episode, fights and eventually wins. Right after winning he suddenly throws a spear towards Dany and her posse, and for a moment we think that he finally snapped and decided to kill her. But Dany moves out of the way and the spear kills a person wearing the Sons of the Harpy mask right behind her. Then all hell breaks loose. There are hundreds of these masked people, killing pretty much everyone, including Hizdahr, Khaleesi’s recent fiancé.

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Daario and Jorah both fight to protect Dany, and just when we think they got away, they’re surrounded. Dany, Tyrion, Daario, Jorah, and Missandei are surrounded by hundreds of angry men with weapons, and it’s time for a miracle. So, you know, dragons. Drogon, Dany’s wayward dragon, shows up and kills a bunch of the masked men. Khaleesi goes full How to Train Your Dragon, climbs on his back, and literally flies away, leaving her friends and allies to, um, die?

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If this scene had a title, it would have to be “Bye, Felicia.” I don’t know what she thinks she’s doing, but I guess her dying wouldn’t have helped anyone. Maybe she’ll go find a new city to rule where she’s not totally hated? Maybe she’ll go marry Doran and rule the world with him? Maybe she’ll retire and go live with her dragons in the suburbs? All I know is that if anything happens to Tyrion or Missandei, I will never forgive Dany.

Overall I thought this was a pretty good episode. With only one episode left for the season it better be. I don’t think we’re going to tie too many storylines next week, but hopefully some bad guys will die and not too many good guys (I know, not very realistic, but a girl can dream!) My guess is that Ollie will try (and hopefully fail) to kill Jon Snow, Arya will try (and hopefully succeed) to kill Trant, Sansa will finally have something change for her, ideally for the better, and Cersi will probably get out of religion-prison once Jaime gets back, and then the scary nun ladies and the High Sparrow better run the other way. Dany will live happily ever after with Drogon, and Stannis… who the hell cares? He’s nothing to me now.

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Yuval

Written by Yuval

Yuval Idan is a writer, feminist, activist, and pop culture nerd who started loving television because of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and hasn't stopped since. In addition to pop culture, she writes about food, politics, justice, and pretty much anything you can rant about. Follow her on Twitter at @JuvTalks.

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